This is quite a profound question. Who hasn’t made sacrifices in life? I don’t think there are people among us that haven’t had to make hard decisions.
That being said, I would have to say the biggest sacrifice in my life was my music career. Those of you who follow me already know that I lost passion for music, but don’t know why I never tried again. The truth is, I sacrificed music to be a mother.
There are many people out there that can dedicate their lives to multiple things and balance them with precision. I am not one of those people. Music wasn’t just a passion; it was my identity. It was everything to me. I ate, breathed, slept music. Somedays I practiced 4-6 hours a day. I would drill scales into my head. I would throw things and cry in frustration when perfection couldn’t be achieved. I would fall asleep holding my instrument when I lost energy.
I couldn’t possibly be the musician I wanted to be and be a decent mother. I’m not saying that people who can successfully do both are not decent parents. I am saying that I could not be. When it came to music, I was selfish. I wanted more and more. If I had found that passion again while my son was young, I would most definitely have abandoned him in some way. Maybe not physically, but definitely mentally. That is how much being a flautist meant to me.
Still, to this day, there is the fear that if I were to pick up the flute again, old habits would engulf me. I would neglect everything and everyone around me. That’s the type of musician I am. Then, the sacrifice would be friendships, relationships, my marriage, my relationship with my son. I am lucky enough to know this about myself. You might wonder since I know this about myself, I should be able to find balance, but I know balance isn’t in my nature. I put my whole self into what I do. I can’t half-ass anything. It’s all-or-nothing.
Filthy Casual for Life 
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