Filthy Casual for Life

Death. No one can escape it including our favorite protagonists or antagonists. That being said, sometimes death can be woven into a beautiful fabric and that is what we get with Your Lie in April.

Kaori Miyazono – Your Lie in April

Love is such a hard emotion to wrap one’s head around. How do you describe love? It takes on different shapes for different people. We all have different definitions of love. We all have different definitions of love at different times in our lives. It is an ever-changing phenomenon.

The show Your Lie in April explores the themes of young love and death intertwined with an amazing classical soundtrack.

Our protagonist, Kosei Arima, is a young prodigy pianist who suffers from trauma that leaves him with the inability to play. He meets Kaori, a free-spirited violinist that wants nothing more than to perform with the prodigy. As they get to know each other, Kosei falls in love with Kaori. However, Kaori hides a secret from Kosei. She’s dying.

This show holds a special place in my heart. This is where I tell you that it reflects a part of my life. I won’t go into details other than to share that watching this show is difficult because it does reflect a part of my past. Like Kosei, I lost someone I loved at a young age. Maybe that is why the death of Kaori is the anime death that hits the hardest.

Kaori spends the time she has left nurturing Kosei and helping him overcome his trauma. She sees the best in Kosei and loves him in a way that makes Kosei want to play again. As she gets worse, Kaori decides to undergo a risky surgery at the chance that she might be able to live a life with Kosei.

As Kosei plays in a competition, he senses her spirit, and knows that Kaori passed away during the surgery. The viewer is immersed in his emotional state through his playing. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful.

What makes Kaori’s death so hard hitting?

For me, it’s the masterful web she wove to express her love for Kosei. We learn that she watched Kosei play when she was little and immediately wanted to learn an instrument to play with him. From a young age, she was fascinated by him, growing to love his playing. After he disappeared from the competition circuit, and after learning of her illness, she changed her personality to draw him back to music. She even faked liking one of his friends to get close to Kosei. It was her lie.

What would you do for someone you love when you know your time is limited? Would you have the strength to be near them? Would you have the strength to pull them out of their darkness when you’re living in your own? Would you dare to dream that you could stay by that person’s side? Would you have the courage to take that leap of faith for the smallest chance that you could survive just a little bit longer?

These are all things Kaori did for Kosei. Despite knowing her time was expiring, she dared to dream of a Kosei that was whole without her by giving music back to him.

And, for me, that is what makes her death so hard hitting. She gave him a part of herself that he can hold onto for a lifetime. Their mutual love of music.