Filthy Casual for Life

I am a master of chaos.

I have clinically diagnosed OCD. Unfortunately, most people misunderstand OCD and only recognize it as people who need to be ultra organized and clean. I don’t have that. In fact, my space is almost always messy. I get overwhelmed by the need for perfection that I just break down and don’t do anything. I get paralyzed and depressed. I want things to be perfect, but it overwhelms me. I also obsess over the fact that people will hate me because I can’t keep things organized. I also tend to want to keep a schedule. For example, every Saturday, we go to Chick-Fil-A at 6 a.m., go grocery shopping at 6:20 a.m. and get home by 7:30 a.m. I typically order the same thing. I organize everything. I like everything to be symmetrical. My husband opens my food for me and lands it like an airplane LOL.

All this to say that my life operates in organized chaos. It doesn’t mean I like it. In fact, when I see my personal space, I get depressed. I end up not being able to clean it. So, what do I do to cope?

Therapy. First and foremost, I go to therapy every two weeks. This is to address my OCD, depression, and bipolar II disorder. I don’t think I could operate without therapy. My therapist is awesome and truly helps me work through my issues.

Small chunks. I have to do things a little at a time. For example…this is the current state of my desk at home.

In order to get to where it is where my perfection wants it to be, I do a little bit at a time. I have to take the small wins where I can. Currently, I am making bracelets for the BTS concert, so the desk will just have to look like crap until I finish. Only 75 more to go…

It’s okay. I have to remind myself that it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s a struggle to look at this desk and tell myself it’s okay.

What about you? Do you struggle with OCD? What do you do to ease your anxiety?