Daily writing prompt
What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Someone who has no concept of boundaries.

This is a complex trait to me, so let me go by way of example. I have had friends in the past that quickly, and I mean quickly, started referring to me as a sibling. Now, I get that some people are very enthusiastic and outgoing and calling you a sibling is supposed to relay this stronger-than-normal bond they feel with you. And, for the most part, I am okay with that.

Where things set up a flag is when someone who barely knows you, or thinks after a short while they know everything about you, starts calling you a member of their “family.” This is a red flag to me.

It has been my experience that a person so quick to form that sibling-like bond with you has some deeper issues that often lead to possessiveness and/or boundary issues. Again, this has been my personal experience. I have had a few people in my life that considered me a “sister” and felt because I was their “sister” that I had to run my life by them. Or, they felt we were so close that they had the right to tell me how to live my life. Or, because they felt like I was family, I had to feel like they were family, too. There was this whole reciprocation that was expected to happen.

I suppose this quick-to-family-ties-trait isn’t the only path to blown boundaries, but it has been a reoccurring theme with me. I now tend to distance myself from people that want to pull me into their family circle too soon. Don’t get me wrong. They might be good people, but that is the whole thing about red flags. They’re all triggered by different experiences in one’s life. This just happens to be mine.

3 responses to “Daily Prompt: Red Flags”

  1. When I saw this writing prompt I immediately thought something similar, but for different reasons and because of different life experiences. I also thought that someone has a big red flag if they start acting too friendly too fast. I gained this point of view because I have a relative that is a conman. This isn’t an exaggeration or name calling, it’s his profession. He talks people into buying into investments that don’t exist and then he walks off with their money. I mean, he’s a really nice guy. Super friendly. Always quick to notice if something is wrong, or quick to compliment if you do anything good. He’s easy to talk to about anything, and he makes you feel good about yourself when you are around him. Everyone likes him. But he’s not above scamming money out of relatives. He absolutely can’t be trusted at all. So, growing up with a relative like that, I developed the point of view that anyone that acts too friendly too fast probably wants something from you and shouldn’t be trusted.

  2. I so agree! That, and love-bombing, which might be closely related.

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