Filthy Casual for Life

To share or not to share? That is the question.

There is one thing I am always scared of. Oversharing. I know it is uncomfortable to people when you overshare. I feel like I’ve done a good job of sharing what my life is like without going overboard. I try to center my content on fun things like vacations, and anime, and manga, and cooking.

However, I just need to vent. So, if you want to skip over this one, feel free.

My diabetes is trying to kill me. It has not behaved in the past, but this is entirely different. Something feels very different.

For those of you not versed in the world of type 2 diabetes, it basically means I have a lazy pancreas. Sometimes it produces good insulin my body can use, and most of the time, it doesn’t. Diabetic medications help my body better use the insulin it does make, or helps purge the extra sugar my body hangs on to.

Lately, medication has not been working effectively. My blood sugar has been consistently around 250-300 (a normal person would be between 90-120). I haven’t changed my diet or made any life-altering changes. For years, I have had my blood sugar in control and now…it’s like those years were wiped away in a week.

Today, I started back on protein drinks for breakfast. Salads or protein shakes for lunch. Normal dinner. I was pretty happy that my blood sugar was close to 100 all day. Then, it skyrocketed to 215 after dinner. It appears I can’t have normal food. Granted, this is only day 1, but I am frustrated and frankly, defeated. The real battle hasn’t even begun yet.

I am supposed to eat less than 45g of carbs a meal. This morning, I had 20g. For lunch I had 16g. For dinner, I had approximately 30g. In theory, it shouldn’t have skyrocketed like that. But, it did.

I was weak all day. Cutting my carbs that low really has an impact on me. I’m sitting here, pretty much lifeless. And, I have to live like this? I guess I really don’t have a choice if I want to avoid the complications of diabetes like losing fingers and toes.

To make matters worse, my $75 sensor that I wear ripped off, so now I am without my continuous glucose monitor. I applied for a replacement sensor, but it can take up to 5 days to approve my request. So, for now, I am going old school and using a lancet device and test strips. I haven’t done that in years, so that adds to my frustration and defeat.

In a way, I am being a baby. I should just suck it up and deal, but I’m exhausted y’all. This disease is exhausting. Especially when you work hard to keep it all in check. Count carbs. You can’t eat that. You should eat more of that. Read the label. Cut more carbs. It’s truly exhausting.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I appreciate you.