I ran across this topic and it is near and dear to my heart. Can online friendships be as real as in-person friendships?
Friend (noun): one attached to another by affection or esteem
Affection (noun): a feeling of liking and caring for someone or something
Distance. Let’s address the elephant in the room. One of the most obvious differences between online and in-person friendships is distance. You can’t hang out in person. Does that really invalidate a friendship? In my mind, no. I don’t believe you have to physically “hang out” to be friends. In fact, if you look at the literal definition of “friend,” distance is nowhere in the definition. So, literally speaking, the argument is invalid.
You NEED to speak in-person to form attachment. With the existence of Discord, Google Chat, text message, FaceTime, Teams, Zoom, etc., there is absolutely no reason to depend solely on in-person communication to form and/or maintain attachment.
My most significant friendships in my later years have been online friendships. With my lifestyle, I wasn’t into going out and making friends. I was/am a gamer who likes staying home and watching anime and gaming. So, my friends are into the same hobbies.
Back to the topic at hand. I do have in-person friends that feel that online friends aren’t really “friends” and their reasoning is because we don’t “hang out,” but we do. Online. All the freaking time. But, rewind to my argument that the definition of friend doesn’t even mention anything about a requirement of distance.
My closest friend was a man sitting in a room in Overland Park, Kansas while my first marriage was falling apart. He made sure I ate every day while my divorce was being finalized. Made sure I took care of my son. Made sure I was okay when I landed back in Texas from Washington State when I decided to move back home. Made sure I was doing well in my night classes when I decided to go back to school. Talked to me every night. Played games with me in between homework and taking care of my son. All while being 700 miles away. Things took a turn and he married me. We’ve been married 16 years.
Fast forward 16 years. Long story short, my husband and I met an amazing person playing EverQuest over a year ago. We lost contact for a good part of that year, but four months ago we crossed paths again. We’ve been in contact every day for the past four months. He’s my closest friend right now and he lives on the east coast.
A friend is someone who you share an emotional connection with. Someone who you share common interests with. Someone you communicate with often. Someone who supports you when you need it. Not someone you “physically” see. I will die on that hill.
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