It was a late night. YouTube’s algorithm put a segment called Carpool Karaoke with James Corden on my screen. It was totally random. I don’t watch late night television let alone stream it. The guest? BTS.
I had heard of BTS before. I really had no idea how big they were or what they stood for. I just knew they were seven South Korean men that sang and danced. I said, “What the hell,” and watched the segment. It was then that I heard Jimin’s angelic voice and I immediately fell in love. I needed to hear more. NEEDED. So, I went down the 4-hour rabbit hole and it led me to “Black Swan”.
It was the lyrics. They hit me hard. I could relate to them. They spoke to me. They made me think of my feelings about my music career and how I felt when it died. How it was my first death.
There is a saying among Army. BTS finds you when you need them the most. At that point in my life, I needed them. They changed my life and it really culminated with “Black Swan.”
[Intro: Jung Kook]
Do your thing
Do your thing with me now
Do your thing
Do your thing with me now
What’s my thing?
What’s my thing? Tell me now
Tell me now
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah[Verse 1: SUGA]
Ayy, the heart no longer races
When the music starts to play
Tryna’ pull up
Seems like time has stopped
Oh, that would be my first death
I been always afraid of[Verse 2: RM]
If this can no longer resonate
No longer make my heart vibrate
Then this may be how
I die my first death, yeah
But what if that moment’s right now, right now?[Pre-Chorus: V & Jimin]
Heartbeat pulsing slow in my ears
Bump, bump, bump
Trying to escape with no avail
Jump, jump, jump
No song can reach me anymore
I shout out a silent cry[Chorus: Jung Kook, Jimin, V & Jin]
Ocean with all light silenced shut, yeah, yeah, yeah
My wandering feet held in a rut, yeah, yeah, yeah
Every noise and sound’s been cut, yeah, yeah, yeah
Killin’ me now, killin’ me now
Do you hear me? Yeah
Sinking slowly like I’m possessed, nah, nah, nah
Struggle but it’s all ocean floor, nah, nah
Every single moment becomes eternity, yeah, yeah, yeah
Film it now, film it now
Do you hear me? Yeah[Post-Chorus: Jimin & V]
Do your thing
Do your thing with me now
Do your thing
Do your thing with me now
What’s my thing?
What’s my thing? Tell me now
Tell me now
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah[Verse 3: j-hope]
Deeper, yeah, I think I’m goin’ deeper
I keep losing focus
Let me go, no, I don’t want to
Let my own feet carry me
I’ll dive in on my own
But far within
In the deepest depths, I saw myself[Verse 4: SUGA]
Slowly, I open my eyes
I’m in my workroom, it’s my studio
The darkness go darkly in a throne
But I’ll never get dragged away again
Inside, I saw myself, myself[Pre-Chorus: Jung Kook & Jin]
Heartbeat racing in my ears
Bump, bump, bump
Eyes wide open into my forest
Jump, jump, jump
Nothing can devour me
I shout out with ferocity[Chorus: Jimin, V, Jin & Jung Kook]
Ocean with all light silenced shut, yeah, yeah, yeah
My wandering feet held in a rut, yeah, yeah, yeah
Every noise and sound’s been cut, yeah, yeah, yeah
Killin’ me now, killin’ me now
Do you hear me? Yeah
Sinking slowly like I’m possessed, nah, nah, nah
Struggle but it’s all ocean floor, nah, nah
Every single moment becomes eternity, yeah, yeah, yeah
Film it now, film it now
Do you hear me? Yeah
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