Love. To me, love is hard to define. It can take shape in hundreds of different ways. But, for me, the definition of what I consider “love” has changed over the years.
Age 2 through 11. When I was in elementary school, I believed love was what Disney showed me about “love.” It was the princess who found her prince. It was the falling in love at first sight. It was the immediate relationship after meeting each other.
Age 11-13. In middle school, my definition of love still had Disney elements, but introduced the physical aspect of things. Hormones. Love was the blushing, the fluttering heart, and that gut feeling when they looked your way.
Age 14-18. In high school, I carried over the crush elements. I still believe love were those feelings you felt toward a crush. But, then I met Eddie. He spoiled me. Bought me everything and anything I wanted. So, naturally, I thought love was what someone gifted you. Then I met Aleksei. He made me believe love was someone who made you feel like you were the only person in the world.
Age 19-30. I met my ex-husband when I was 19. I still believed that love was what someone gifted me. I still believed that love was being the center of someone’s attention. I added physical attraction to the definition. I quickly learned that love couldn’t thrive on those elements alone. He cheated on me, we divorced, and I had to really rethink what I thought love was.
Age 31-44. Then, I met Casey. He completely changed the landscape of love. He was present. When I was depressed before I moved back home, he texted me every day and made sure I ate and took care of my son. When I moved back home from Washington State, he wanted to be the first person I texted when I landed. I realized that love was much more than physical attraction alone. You also had to be attracted to their personality. I learned that love was the small things. Something as simple as showing up to the airport with my favorite flavor of Monster when we first met in person. Love was intimacy. Sharing every part of yourself.
Age 45 to present. I still believe the definition of love encompasses what I felt in my 30s. I’ve just added on to the definition. I feel love also encompasses understanding. I believe this is a big discovery. Understanding. Someone that understands where your flaws come from. Acceptance. Someone that accepts you for who you are. Attachment. Having feelings of deep attachment. You feel they are a part of you. Empathy. Being able to empathize with your partner about their troubles. The desire to help them at whatever cost. Love is seeing past the broken parts and seeing their beauty.
What about you? How has your definition of love changed over the years?
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