Ever receive a compliment that stuck with you years later? I am lucky to say that I received one compliment that stuck with me until now.
It requires a bit of background information. I had a complicated love story in high school. He was in college and four years older than me. I met him when I was a freshman in high school. I know, I know. Save the judgment. His name was Aleksei.
As I mentioned, our love story was complicated. We didn’t date for two years. Instead, we were the best of friends. I could depend on him for anything in my life. I dated boys my age and always cried to him when things didn’t work out. The problem was we were both hiding our feelings. We were trying to be friends when we were actually more to each other. I would like to go on record and say he was my soulmate. We complimented each other in every way imaginable. We respected each other. We accepted each other’s flaws. But, most of all, we were in love with each other.
In the fall of 1995, Aleksei tried to back away and leave me to figure myself out and continue to date boys my age. He really did try hard to respect me and our age gap. I got mad. Like, really mad. Long story short, I did some things I am not proud of that hurt Aleksei. I stopped talking to him for months and avoided him when he tried to see me in person.
Fast forward to the summer of 1996, we finally admitted our feelings to one another and started dating. A few weeks into our relationship, Aleksei was slated to fly to the Ukraine to visit family. The problem was he was still traumatized from me ignoring him and pulling away. After a day together, he drove me home. Aleksei always got out of the car and opened the car door for me. As I was going up the steps to my apartment, he grabbed me around my waist and asked me not to go.
I turned around and asked him what was wrong. He begins to tell me that he’s afraid of losing me while he was gone. He was afraid I would disappear. Afraid our relationship would disappear. The man that was usually stoic, strong, cool and confident was crying before me.
Then, he spoke these words which I consider the greatest compliment I have ever received.
I love you. I have always loved you. You are my world. I always want to be there for you. I always want to be by your side. You fill my heart with love. You’re my gravity. You’re at the center of all things.
You are my world…You’re my gravity. You’re at the center of all things.
It was the best compliment I have ever received because it was honest, raw, and most of all, true. To this day, I remember that moment in perfect clarity even though it happened almost 30 years ago.
You might be wondering what happened to us. I’m obviously not married to him, even though that was the goal. Aleksei was hit by a drunk driver on my 17th birthday. He was brain dead and taken off life support. I laid there with him and he took his last breath. We had a perfect year together. I try to remember every detail of that year.
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